


Dreams That Cannot Be

by LynyrdSkynyrd



Series: Learning To Love [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, post-Necesito que confiar en alguien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 10:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4663845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynyrdSkynyrd/pseuds/LynyrdSkynyrd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is so simple with Leo. Yeah, maybe they have to hide from judgemental face of the world and maybe they are the opposite of each other, they find it hard to understand or look through the other eyes but then there are moments like this where Leo shows him how easy it could be. Without all the fame and eyes on them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams That Cannot Be

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! First, I should tell you that I will only post one shots from now on. All my multi chap fics are on hiatus. Yeah, college sucks. I wish to complete them later during this year. I am just really tired all the time and I barely sleep 4 hours a day. So I am not very creative lately. I wrote most of this after posting Necesito so it didn't need too much work.
> 
> My writing sucks due to my poor language skills (English is not my first language, duh).
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://franzkafkaesque.tumblr.com)!  
> (Feel free to message me)

There is an awkward silence filling the huge diner room of one and only Cristiano Ronaldo’s house. Someone’s phone rings, playing Mama by My Chemical Romance in the background. It is absurd. Everything about this night is absurd. Cris rubs his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. Iker shifts in his seat uncomfortably as he eyes his long term teammate.

“Cris, maybe you should check on him?” He says uncertainly. Cris looks at him annoyedly without moving his head, cheek pressed against his fist.

“You heard him, he doesn’t want me anywhere near him.” He says harshly but Iker knows him long enough to hear the small hint of sadness there. Phone rings again, Gerard Way’s voice fills the entire room. Cris looks at Sergio furiously.

“Goddamn it, Sergio! Answer that fucking phone.” Sergio raises his brows like saying ‘what’s wrong’ which only makes Cris angrier. He shakes his head annoyedly and Sergio walks to the coffee table, answering his phone just in time.

“Hola?” He walks out of the room and Cris relaxes a bit. He looks at the half eaten food on their plates and white table cloth and anger fills his chest again. He doesn’t deserve this. Fuck, Iker and Sergio don’t either. Lionel fucking Messi.

That’s it.

Cristiano slaps his open palms against wooden table, Iker who doesn’t expect a reaction like this from Cris flinches. Keeper’s confused big  brown eyes focus on Cristiano’s dark and angry features. Cris stands up, his chair sliding against the floor, the sound hurting their ears.

“Cris? What—” But Cristiano doesn’t pay attention to his friend, hoping not to forget apologising later for being rude. He walks out of the room, going through corridors and stairs until he reaches more personal side of his house. He knocks the door of his bathroom angrily. But now standing in front of the bathroom, hearing the gagging sounds coming from inside, his anger fades quickly, replaced by worry. His features soften. He knocks again but gentler this time.

“Leo, are you okay?”  No answer. Cris sighs. “Please talk to me, Leo. You can’t avoid me forever, I am standing right here.”

Yes, Cris is annoyed by the way Leo acts since he came to Cris’ house unannounced (but of course at this stage or their relationship, he doesn’t need to, again, this is not the problem here) and walked past Sergio and Iker without greeting them (hell, he didn’t even say anything to Cris or give him a kiss at least) and locked himself in the bathroom. Cris, of course, as a good boyfriend, went after him. But Leo didn’t even answer his questions, only told him to go away with a shaky, weak voice. Cris was taken back by Leo pushing him away like this. So he, for the first time, listened him and went back to dinner room where his teammates were, to continue their meal in awkward silence.

Cris knocks again.

“Leo, I am not going away, get the fuck out of there and talk to me. If you are sick, we should go to hospital. For fuck’s sake, stop being immature for once and let me help you.” Cris says annoyedly but worry spreads across his face.

But of course knowing how stubborn Leo is, Cris is actually surprised when door opens with a click. He pushes bathroom door slowly, fearing Leo standing behind it. But he doesn’t. He sits on the floor, his back pressed against bathtub, his forehead covered with sweat. He looks up at his boyfriend, his dark brown eyes are tired, there is something so soft, so sad, so heartbreaking in his expression that Cris kneels next to him, pushing strands away from his eyes gently.

“Fuck, Leo, why did you lock yourself in here?” He asks softly. He wants to be angry at him, _oh, he will._ But not now. Right now his little Argentine needs him and Cris wants nothing more than to make him feel better.

“I thought it would go away. It normally does.” Leo says weakly. “I feel so stupid.” He buries his face in his hands, looking so small, so lost in here, Cris’ huge bathroom. Everything around them are shiny, expensive and luxurious. Leo, in his white crinkled shirt and dark skinny jeans, looks so out of place. Cris wraps his arm around Leo’s small figure and pulls him closer to his chest, giving strength and his support.

“Shh, you are not. It is okay.” He whispers, pressing his plump lips against Leo’s ear. Leo pulls his legs closer to his chest, pressing his hand against his knees, face still hiding between his hands.

“No, you don’t understand.” Leo mumbles against his hands. “I fucked up.”

Cris sighs.

“What happened, Leo, tell me.”

“I wasn’t there for her.” Leo says, finally lifting his head. Cris realizes how serious the situation is then. Leo’s eyes are red and puffy, he is crying and Leo rarely cries. Fuck. Cris runs his hand through Leo’s hair, silky strands between his fingers.

“Her?”

“Antonella.” Leo says like choking. _Oh._ Cris is not a possessive man but he sure is a jealous one. And overprotective sometimes. So his boyfriend sitting in the middle of his bathroom and crying his heart out for a woman, a woman he once dated, doesn’t necessarily makes him happy.

“Is she okay?” Cris asks, priorities first. Leo nods.

“She says so. She is engaged.” Leo licks his lips, looking away from Portuguese man. Now that Cris knows no one is dying or suffering, he frowns.

“And you are stressed out about this because..?” He asks, trying to hide his jealousy. Leo rolls his eyes.

“I am not stressed out because she is engaged.” Cris feels so stupid for relaxing. But he does.

“Then why are you crying and throwing up in my bathroom?” He plays with a strand of dark brown hair of Leo’s between his fingers, eyeing his boyfriend carefully. “Are you sure you are okay?” Leo shakes his head this time, finally admitting he is not. And this is huge, too. Leo never admits.

“You know,” Cris says, lips brushing Leo’s forehead sweetly, caringly, “you have to talk to me. So maybe I can take your pain away, give you advice and shit. You know. I could do this for you if you let me in.” Leo nods, still not looking at him. He takes a deep breath before dropping the bomb.

“Antonella was pregnant.” He says, turning his head toward Cris. “When we broke up.” Cris gulps, waiting for Leo to continue. “She had an abortion.”

Well.. FUCK.

This is worse than Cris thought.

This is huge.

F U C K.

They sit there for a while, Cris not knowing what to say, Leo has nothing to add. Cris finally stands up, Leo looks up at him confusedly. Cris offers Leo his hand, pulling him to his feet.

“Come on, go to the bedroom, I am coming right after you.” He whispers, pulling his boyfriend against his chest, pressing his lips against his damp hair. Leo nods uncertainly and disappears in the dark corridor. Cris sighs, standing in the bathroom for a second. He doesn’t know what to say to Leo. What would he do? He tries to put himself in Leo’s shoes. Fuck, he would be mad. Furious. Leo doesn’t look angry though, mostly heartbroken and sad. Incredibly sad.

Cris walks to his dinner room. Now both Sergio and Iker sitting there awkwardly, looking at cold food and white tablecloth covering his wooden dinner table. Cris sighs once again. Tonight wasn’t supposed to go like this. He wants to apologise but Iker lifts his hand like he heard Cris’ thoughts.

“It is okay, obviously you have things to talk about. We were just about to leave.” Iker throws his napkin on the table and stands up. Cris runs a hand through his hair, he does not know what to say.

“I am so—” Iker glares at him warningly and then smiles.

“It is okay. We had a great night tonight, Cris. Thanks for the food.” He says. Cris nods as he watches Iker pulling Sergio who tries to take another empanada away from table with a death stare and waves at Cris. “You go upstairs, we will close the door after us. Goodnight, Cris.” He says as he drags Sergio outside.

“Bye, Cris!” Sergio chirps happily and waves at him before Iker pulls him out of the room. Cris reaches to untouched cold food but stops himself. He can do this later. He looks at stairs and feels slightly uncomfortable. He doesn’t know what to say to Leo. But Leo needs him and their relationship means so much to Cris that he can’t walk away when things get harder. Leo means so much to him, even if they were not together Cris would still want to help him out.

 

When he enters his bedroom, he notices how dark his room is. Blackout curtains closed tightly. There is almost no light in the room expect the one coming from the corridor. Cris walks toward the bed and sits next to Leo slowly, like he is a wounded animal Cris touches him softly, caressing his back.

“Leo?”

Leo is lying on his bed, facing the window, legs pulled closer to chest, back turned to Cris so he can’t see younger man’s face. Cris waits for him to speak first. Obviously Leo needs some time.

He speaks, after 5 minutes or more. Not that Cris counts.

“I am not angry.” He whispers in the dark softly. He sounds broken and tired. Cris nods even though Leo can’t see him. “I am not mad at her.”

“I know you are not.” Cris whispers back and he doesn’t understand. How can Leo not be mad at her? She took this decision away from him without caring how he feels. Cris doesn’t know Antonella, they met once or twice at ceremonies and she seems like a nice person, genuinely nice. But you can never be sure.

“I am just—I just—” Leo takes a deep breath and rolls onto his back, looking at ceiling. His eyes shining in the darkness. “It’s her body, she is the mother and it’s her decision. After all, she is the one who would be carrying the baby for 9 months, feeding him, taking care of him. But I feel like I lost everything.” He bites his lower lip, trying to stop himself from crying again. Cris feels the pain in his chest tightens with every beat of his heart

“You have me.” He says softly and he knows that it is not the same thing. Leo loves children, hell, he is crazy for them. Cris saw him with kids before. His face his face lights up like a damn Christmas tree when he sees a kid. Cris imagines a mini Leo. How cute would he be? Cris once again feels the anger, he knows he has no right to but he is mad at Antonella for making that decision, for making Leo like.. this.

Leo smiles at him sadly. He reaches forward and laces their fingers together, looking at their hands wonderingly.

“Yes.” He whispers. He pulls Cris down and Cris gets the message. He lays down next to Leo, pulling him against his chest. Leo makes an approving sound and buries his face in his chest.

“I will never have kids.” Leo says after a couple of minutes and Cris freezes. Now he understands. Leo is not mad at Antonella. After all, she probably made the right decision. But Leo feels like it was his only chance to have a baby. And that is why he became a mess. He lost it. Like he said, he lost everything he’s ever wanted.

“Why would you say that?” Cris protests. “Of course you can have kids.” He is not sure why he is being so.. defensive? Was he offended? Why?

Leo laughs bitterly.

“Yeah, sure. Are you planning to get pregnant because I have some news for you.” Leo says, rolling onto his back. And Cris misses his warmth against his skin immediately. He gets up into a sitting position on the bed, looking at Leo. It hurt.. a bit.

“And I have news for you, darling. You don’t always have to use your dick to have kids. Sometimes you can, I don’t know, ADOPT.” Cris says annoyedly. Leo covers his eyes with his arm, smiling softly.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Are you aware that I am a footballer?” Cris mutters a ‘trust me I am’ under his breath. “I am always travelling, who would give me a child? I can’t let baby sitters raise my kid, can I?” Cris runs a hand through his hair, pulling few strands nervously. He knows what he is about to say is huge.

“We can.. adopt.. like, together, you know.”

Leo lifts his arm and their eyes meet. Leo gets up into a sitting position as well and his face softens immediately. A small sad smile appears on his thin lips.

“Wouldn’t it be amazing?” He says softly. “Too good to be true.”

“Why not?” Cris says stubbornly.

“Because we are footballers, Cris.” Leo says like he is talking to a 5 years old. “As much as I want to have a kid, especially with you, it is not possible. I love dreaming, you know that. But in the end of the day, there is a truth we are living.” Cris sighs, closing his eyes tiredly. Why can’t they have nice things? Why can’t he have Leo without hiding behind closed doors, hiding their faces under hoods? Why can’t he have a kid with Leo, raising him or her with love? Being the best fucking parents ever.Because, fuck yes, they would be amazing parents. Leo is the sweetest guy Cris’ ever known and Cris would be the coolest dad ever.

But Leo is right. There is the truth. A hard bitch slap to the face. A bucket of ice cold water.

“You are right, I am sorry.” Cris whispers. Leo’s hand reaches forward, caressing the skin of Cris’ cheek.

“Don’t be.” Leo whispers back. “I would like to have a family with you.” And Cris loves the way Leo reacts this. Cris loves how Leo didn’t freak out when Cris mentions adopting a kid with him. Everything is so simple with Leo. Yeah, maybe they have to hide from judgemental face of the world and maybe they are the opposite of each other, they find it hard to understand or look through the other eyes but then there are moments like this where Leo shows him how easy it could be. Without all the fame and eyes on them.

Cris catches Leo’s hand on his cheek, kissing the inside of his palm and pulling him closer. Leo doesn’t resist, leans against him. They sit there, hugging each other in the darkness, safe and warm in Cris’ huge bed.

“You are amazing.” Cris whispers. Leo’s hands find their way to Cris’ hair, pulling his head back to look into his eyes. He is smiling genuinely for the first time that night.

“We are amazing together.”  

And Cris can’t argue with that.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think any of these men listen My Chemical Romance (hell, I don't either) but it was playing in the background while I was writing this one shot and it felt so absurd, I had to add it.
> 
> And I have no idea what this fic means. I don't remember why I decided to write this but Leo loves children (adores them) and, I don't know, man. I believe he would be devastated in a situation like this.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
